


Welcome to Sanders Sides

by ToDefineIsToLimit



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Crofter's Organic Spread (Sanders Sides), M/M, Night Vale Community Radio, One Shot, Self-Indulgent, Self-Love, host! Virgil, intern! remus, mayor! roman, scientist! logan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:28:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 563
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24212926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToDefineIsToLimit/pseuds/ToDefineIsToLimit
Summary: Virgil is the host of nightvale community radio and today is a government-mandated self love dayVirgil had never been a fan of government mandates
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Morality | Patton Sanders/Deceit Sanders
Comments: 12
Kudos: 73





	Welcome to Sanders Sides

**Author's Note:**

> c'mon we all know Virge probably love wtnv
> 
> Virgil is cecil  
> Logan is carlos  
> Janus is Steve Carlsburg  
> Roman is Dana  
> Remus is an intern  
> Patton Is Virgil's brother

Sometimes the inevitable dread of the universe becomes so crushing that it almost feels like a living breathing being sitting there in the living room next to you. Accept it. It is your friend.

_Welcome to Nightvale_

Hey there listeners, Mayor Underarm stink, Roman Cardinal, called a press conference earlier today announcing a town-wide self-love day. He would like to remind you that these days are not only recommended but mandatory upon the pain of reeducation.

A quick editorial? Thats some bullshit. He thinks he can tell us what to do just cuz he’s an elected official. He’s still just an intern in my eyes. He can fetch me a coffee- 

Oh, hold on listeners I’m getting a call.

*sharp inhale, excited tone* Guys, its Logan, ya know my _boyfriend_ the _scientist_. Hold on let me take this.

.... uh-huh… you’re sure?.... Ugh fine.

Alright, listeners Logan just reminded me that self-love is good for you or something so you should probably stay home, take a warm bath, eat your favorite food.

Which brings me to today’s sponsor.

Crofters!

Is your toast too plain? Try Crofters!  
Not a fan of jelly? Try Crofters!  
Has your soul rendered itself into six sentient facets of your personality? Try Crofters!

Mend you shattered soul and fill the cracks with an organic fruit spread.

…

Okay, so I was just informed via a written note from intern Remus that us being here is not considered “self-love”. We should have left ten minutes ago at least, meaning it is officially time to panic and/or cry.

Oh, wait, Remus just passed me another note that said “You’re on your own, get fucked.” and then he proceeded to flee the station.

So in case he doesn’t survive re-education, to the family of Remus Cardinal he was a shit intern, he will not be missed. Giving the Cardinal twins internships was easily the biggest mistake of my life, they were never cut out for radio.

Oh boy, and the day keeps getting better and better guess who just fucking called me? *angry* My brother in law, _Janus Carlsburg_. Hhhhh fine Hello _Janus_ you’re on the air.

“Virgil, as much as I _adore_ you, I would like to request you get off the air and go home. Your brother asked me to call, he’s worried.”

What? Why is Patton worried?

“Hmm, I don’t know it _couldn’t possibly_ be because you’re currently broadcasting your exact location to the sheriff’s secret police and-”

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

Whoops sorry Janus, gotta go!

Welp, I’m fucked. Listeners that knock at the door is probably the sheriff’s secret police so I will need to find a way to escape so please relax while I take you to 

[the weather.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RRKJiM9Njr8)

Ooookay I’m back, uhm… reeducation was uh actually fun this time.

Not sure what I expected. I was literally evading self-love day. Yeah, they just took me home and i watched some movies with Logan and there was an agent who sprayed me with a light acid when I said bad things about myself but other than that it was pretty good.

And to everyone who has been sending me kind messages during my time in the hospital burn recovery unit, thanks they meant a lot.

I suppose we really can get through anything when we band together as a town, even a day of self-love.

_Goodnight, Nightvale. Goodnight._


End file.
